Social

So I've been playing The Sims a lot lately. It's a fun, interesting game with status bars that indicate the needs of your characters. They have this Social bar that goes down when you don't talk to anyone and just sit at home all day long.. which is basically what I do.

Someone helped me lift that bar back up today, albeit through the wonders of emo guitar and emo singing.

It was worth it, though. Thank you.

philessthanthree.

Circle

There are certain things I would like you to know, but no matter how much I voice it you'll never understand.

It's like a circle that we spin round in for eternity. Except it's more like a circle with holes in it, for all of the times I disappear from the face of this Earth. But I guess it's my fault that it is so hard for me to find a place in your life. I come and go, come and go. I don't know why I can't just stay put and enjoy each and every moment; I don't know why I have to run. I wish we could stand still, with our arms making circles round one another with the hue of a circular golden star shining down on the endless marriage of fresh and sea water.

Yours seems like the tracks of a train whizzing by me. Mine is a spotty, broken rope that won't rescue me, or anyone at all. Or maybe I'm just an emo kid. Though I'd prefer to phrase it as someone that wishes so dearly to be in your life and yet can't seem to hop on because of other folks... or maybe it's just me.

philessthanthree.

Window

I guess this is my first post or something.


It's been a while since I've wrote on a blog, or at least a visible one. But I woke up feeling not very well today and psychology tells me that writing will untangle the crooked vines in my mind and free me of some of this negativity. So why not write it somewhere private I ask myself? Well I guess I also want the satisfaction of knowing that someone out there might be reading this and maybe that can be a little bit therapeutic for me as well.

I see these blog things as if they were windows. I can see pretty clearly through the window, peering into my friend's lives, pondering and wondering. But I'm still missing something, separated by glass, I'm never really there. And glancing through these windows I'm often reminded of things I don't want to remember and don't want to experience again.

But alas I have to. They say curiosity killed the cat, and it pretty much kills me all the time. Last night I had a good time with an old friend and a couple new friends. If I'm drinking though, there's one thing you need to take away from me. It's not my car keys or my car for that matter, it's my cell phone. Drunk phone calls and drunk texts have only made matters worse in my life but I never learn the lesson. It seems I've lost many loved ones because of my phone, and as lame as that sounds, at least I don't lose them via AIM or something (although I have fallen in love through AIM, ^,^). Sleeping at 4 AM I also had a bunch of not so wonderful dreams that left me waking up in despair. And aside from learning some new beats on the drums I've had a pretty crappy day. Lonely, stupid, abandoned, pointless, broken is how I feel and how I am. I guess the worst part about it is that it's not just a one day thing, it's pretty much everyday. Oh well!

And oops, this was supposed to be a photography/music blog. But I kind of failed at the music half of that. Was trying to write a piano song I entitled "Window" but that was pretty much fail. Oh, and the windows in this photograph are closed and boarded. Let's just hope that the words on your screen are enough of a window for now.

philessthanthree.